Well life has been really crazy lately (when is it not?) and I havent had time to do much of anything, or rather, I do the things that seem important and then i'm so tired I leave off the others. So updating my Project 365 page has halted as has updating this blog. I did, however, want to make a quick mention that I've passed over my 1 year anniversary of living in Europe, and I didnt even realize it! So, happy anniversary to me, and to Europe. It's been a crazy year. Lots of good, lots of bad, lots of life. Even though I still cant seem to shake my bad luck in Holland, I'm glad I'm here. No really, I am (: It's been a tough year, but I hope that after I move into my new flat next week that everything will return to "normal." And maybe I'll even get a chance to start blogging again. And most importantly, when I finish moving house so much (5 times in 1 year is enough!) I hope to get back to roaming around Europe. The travel bug has bitten me again and I've got an itch. (Ew that sounds gross)
1 year down, 3 to go!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
woe
I get paid this friday (hooray!) and the first thing I'm going to buy (ok, maybe 2nd, after a beer) is a new camera. After having at least one, all my life, I'm going crazy without one! And no, the camera on my mobile phone does not count!
On a separate note, if you want a good cry, read the LJ blog of this Canadian girl who died of CF at 25. I found it via an article on CNN. Sometimes CNN has decent stories. Sometimes. It reminds me of how lucky I am, even with my own problems with my own chronic diseases. Having known (and dated actually) someone with CF, it hit close to home. I do not even want to imagine how I will be if/when he dies. As much as my own life has sucked thanks to migraines and diabetes, I am so grateful that I can run, bike, hike etc (albeit slowly) whenever I want without worrying about drowning in my own mucous. Dear human people: dont ever take your healthy body for granted! (smokers, i'm thinking of you, you bastards) Go out and live life, love life! Find joy. I'm not saying be happy all the time (no one can really), but dont take anything for granted.
Fun picture blogging shall hopefully return after the purchase of a new camera. I suppose this could have been a good opportunity to blog about all the other pictures I've taken and not shared, but I'm lazy. (: And busy living the life of a PhD student.
On a separate note, if you want a good cry, read the LJ blog of this Canadian girl who died of CF at 25. I found it via an article on CNN. Sometimes CNN has decent stories. Sometimes. It reminds me of how lucky I am, even with my own problems with my own chronic diseases. Having known (and dated actually) someone with CF, it hit close to home. I do not even want to imagine how I will be if/when he dies. As much as my own life has sucked thanks to migraines and diabetes, I am so grateful that I can run, bike, hike etc (albeit slowly) whenever I want without worrying about drowning in my own mucous. Dear human people: dont ever take your healthy body for granted! (smokers, i'm thinking of you, you bastards) Go out and live life, love life! Find joy. I'm not saying be happy all the time (no one can really), but dont take anything for granted.
Fun picture blogging shall hopefully return after the purchase of a new camera. I suppose this could have been a good opportunity to blog about all the other pictures I've taken and not shared, but I'm lazy. (: And busy living the life of a PhD student.
Monday, March 8, 2010
outtakes 365 project
Here are more pictures not chosen for my official picture of the day. It's been a while since I posted 365 pictures, so there was a lot to choose from.
Feb 22 - I pressed the buttons, but the elevator never went anywhere. Maybe this is a mirage and there isnt an elevator in the bike garage (;
Feb 26 - Love Potion. Drinking with co-workers. Hmmmm
March 2 - Opening act for 30 Seconds to Mars. Shame we got there at the end; they were really good. See the guy with the bat? He was playing the drum set with the bat! Crazy
March 6: My favorite Saturday treat: Bram Frites met fritesauce! My favorite. mmmmm now I want some. nom nom
Little chicks in the Hema!
Ran into co-workers / friends Sue and Marieke. Marieke needed books to read for her impromptu holiday in Egypt. SO we popped into a used book store that I didnt know was a used bookstore. I LOVE used bookstores! It even had English books (these are not in English). Now I have to forget I know about this place before I blow all my monies!
Beautiful old books in a foreign language
March 7 - New lesson : blue skies + green sadly does not = spring
Feb 22 - I pressed the buttons, but the elevator never went anywhere. Maybe this is a mirage and there isnt an elevator in the bike garage (;
Feb 26 - Love Potion. Drinking with co-workers. Hmmmm
March 2 - Opening act for 30 Seconds to Mars. Shame we got there at the end; they were really good. See the guy with the bat? He was playing the drum set with the bat! Crazy
March 6: My favorite Saturday treat: Bram Frites met fritesauce! My favorite. mmmmm now I want some. nom nom
Little chicks in the Hema!
Ran into co-workers / friends Sue and Marieke. Marieke needed books to read for her impromptu holiday in Egypt. SO we popped into a used book store that I didnt know was a used bookstore. I LOVE used bookstores! It even had English books (these are not in English). Now I have to forget I know about this place before I blow all my monies!
Beautiful old books in a foreign language
March 7 - New lesson : blue skies + green sadly does not = spring
Monday, March 1, 2010
Quiz time
Just got back from Dutch lessons and biking at night wakes me up so I need something to calm me down before I go to bed. So here's a quiz/questionaire stolen from Amanda.
1) What would you call yourself if you could choose your own name? I actually love my name, I just wish my family would call me by my full name (Cassandra) and not the short version (Cassie).
2) What was your worst date (as in going out on a date, not an actual calendar date…unless you have a really bad one to share)? Hmmmmm. Worst date. Man there have been a lot of bad ones and laughable ones. I've had so many first dates I dont even remember them all. Off the top of my head is a guy I met through an internet date site. First, he didnt look like his picture (they never do). He did bring me a rose, but it looked like he swiped it from a bouquet at the grocery store and didnt actually pay for it or anything. We went to a pub that was jam packed and we couldnt get a table for food, so after a couple beers we left. We went down the block to a restaurant for food. The food was good but by then I had waited so long for it that I had a headache and I was nauseous and could barely force it down. While we were waiting for the food and talking he started singing a Tool song in an acapella voice. Really loud. It was embarrassing. Then on the T ride (subway in Boston) home he tried to kiss me. Not a good idea since the T has a habit of stopping abruptly or lurching forward. I think I got off the T at my stop and he didnt. He called and e-mailed a couple times and I tried to tell him it wasnt going to work but he didnt take no for an answer initially. The singing part is the part that stand out. It was a quiet, upscale restaurant. I'm not a fan of being serenaded with acapella versions of metal songs in upscale restaurants....
3) If you had to teach one subject in high school or college, what would it be? Biology for sure!
4) When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? The other day at home alone watching TV. Some commercial reminded me of something and I just couldnt stop laughing. I might not be sane.
5) What is the kindest thing anyone has ever done for you? Hmmm. Again, tough choice. A Lot of people have done kind things for me over the years. My best friend Anne and her husband have driven up to Boston from Connecticut (~100 miles) to help me move on several occasions - in Boston this usually involves carrying everything down 3 flights of twisty stairs then up 3 flights. I always lived on 3rd floors. This past winter a co-worker drove me to the airport when there was so much snow that the trains and the buses werent running and the roads were dangerous. It involved an overnight stay and his boyfriend cooked us a wonderful meal.
6) If money or skill-set was no issue, what would you love to do for a living? I think I'd still be a scientist. Maybe a nature photographer or a ceramicist.
7) What is one thing as an adult/parent/spouse you do that you swore you would never do? Well I'm not a spouse or a parent and I cant really think of anything that I do as an adult that I'd swore i'd never do as a child. I think this question applies more to parents.
8) If you could go back to one particular time in your life (not to live, not to change anything, just to visit) when would it be? When I was a toddler and learning to read. Apparently I taught myself to read (with Mom's help) at the age of 3 and I was quite the bright and inquisitive child. I've never lost my curiosity, but I'd love to see what I was like when I discovered (quite possibly) the most important skill of my entire life. And my most cherished.
9) If your walls could talk, what would they say about you (good & bad)? They would say that I'm sad and depressed and lonely and I need to clean my apartment more often and get out more often. They would also say I waste far too much time on the internet. Oh and they might have a good laugh about how often I dance in my underwear or naked to music.
10) If you could fix or put an end to one problem in the world what would it be? I agree with Amanda on this one: Wastefulness. Lets not ruin our beautiful planet.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Expat life
Posting more pictures that didnt make it onto the official 365 Project as my picture of the day. Might actually make this a weekly event. It's keeping me more active in blogging than ever before. So if I have the time, I'll try every Sunday.
Not entirely sure when I took this picture on my mobile phone, but I just learned how to download picts from my mobile onto my computer this week. They are glass plate spreaders I made by melting glass in a bunsen burner flame. I'd never done this before so they are a bit uneven. Ah well, it was fun.
Feb 14: Sunday morning coffee with my new china set from the Hema. I bought this with my giftcard from the University as my Christmas present to myself. Totally fell in love with this pattern. Wish I could afford the entire set of dishes.
Sepia version
An egg boiling in water. Thought the ripples in the water were cool.
Feb 15: Bunnies at night with Lazer Eyes. They always come out at night! There are bunches of them living near the bushes around the infection unit.
Feb 18: Lichen on the Vet School. Another shot taken with my mobile phone.
Feb 21: Fog in the morning. Woke up to a world hiding in fog.
Also, a note on trying to focus on the positive aspects of being an expat: it's not easy when the citizens of the country you live in dislike immigrants. The overt racism and poor treatment of non-Dutch people really really bothers me. I wish I could let it go or let it roll off my back and not bother me, but I cant. Last night I was with a couple other expats and we waited in line to get into this restaurant/bar that has dancing at night in Utrecht (called Havana Club - the food is not Cuban but they try) and we were denied admission b/c none of us were Dutch. I'm pretty sure this is illegal. I may have gotten all angry-obnoxious-drunk american and yelled some not nice things at the bouncers.... I shouldnt have done that but I was so angry. We were dressed properly and we were a bunch of good looking people and this is Utrecht! Not effing New York city or LA. This was not an issue of us not fitting in with the beautiful people. This was us being blatantly discriminated against b/c only one of us spoke Dutch (not me). I've heard stories of Moroccan or African or people looking like they are Moroccan or African getting rejected from clubs, but I never heard of people being rejected just for being foreigners. And I'm a legal effing resident. I pay their high taxes just like everyone else. I was quite upset over this so I ended up just going home.
On my bike ride home a vehicle driving behind me started beeping and the driver yelling at me so I waved at it to pass. It didnt pass, it just kept beeping. Since I was already quite angry I did another typical American thing and pulled my bike over and flipped the bird at the driver. So the guy pulled up next to me and started shouting at me in Dutch. I yelled back "Het spijt me, ik spreekt geen Nederlands, spreekt u Engels?" (i'm sorry, i dont speak Dutch, do you speak English?) And then he shouted at me something about being an ignorant foreigner and not knowing the language who bikes too slow and i'm rude and something about arresting me. I shouted back that I'm a kennismigrant and therefore not required to learn Dutch. There was more arguing about me not being able to speak Dutch and he kept saying something about having me arrested if i didnt calm down. Eventually I just said i'm sorry ive had a bad night you're right. And he drove off. In my drunkenness I thought he might have been the police b/c the van looked like a police van. But he was not. I cried the entire bike ride home. Like hysterical crying. I'm surprised I didnt crash my bike - I was basically biking without seeing anything.
Ive spent the entire day today annoyed at myself and annoyed at the people in this country. Being angry and annoyed is not going to help me to adjust or have a happy life here. But at the same time if I bottle it all up inside then its just going to come bursting out like it did last night. I'm going to have to find some constructive way to deal with this.
Not entirely sure when I took this picture on my mobile phone, but I just learned how to download picts from my mobile onto my computer this week. They are glass plate spreaders I made by melting glass in a bunsen burner flame. I'd never done this before so they are a bit uneven. Ah well, it was fun.
Feb 14: Sunday morning coffee with my new china set from the Hema. I bought this with my giftcard from the University as my Christmas present to myself. Totally fell in love with this pattern. Wish I could afford the entire set of dishes.
Sepia version
An egg boiling in water. Thought the ripples in the water were cool.
Feb 15: Bunnies at night with Lazer Eyes. They always come out at night! There are bunches of them living near the bushes around the infection unit.
Feb 18: Lichen on the Vet School. Another shot taken with my mobile phone.
Feb 21: Fog in the morning. Woke up to a world hiding in fog.
Also, a note on trying to focus on the positive aspects of being an expat: it's not easy when the citizens of the country you live in dislike immigrants. The overt racism and poor treatment of non-Dutch people really really bothers me. I wish I could let it go or let it roll off my back and not bother me, but I cant. Last night I was with a couple other expats and we waited in line to get into this restaurant/bar that has dancing at night in Utrecht (called Havana Club - the food is not Cuban but they try) and we were denied admission b/c none of us were Dutch. I'm pretty sure this is illegal. I may have gotten all angry-obnoxious-drunk american and yelled some not nice things at the bouncers.... I shouldnt have done that but I was so angry. We were dressed properly and we were a bunch of good looking people and this is Utrecht! Not effing New York city or LA. This was not an issue of us not fitting in with the beautiful people. This was us being blatantly discriminated against b/c only one of us spoke Dutch (not me). I've heard stories of Moroccan or African or people looking like they are Moroccan or African getting rejected from clubs, but I never heard of people being rejected just for being foreigners. And I'm a legal effing resident. I pay their high taxes just like everyone else. I was quite upset over this so I ended up just going home.
On my bike ride home a vehicle driving behind me started beeping and the driver yelling at me so I waved at it to pass. It didnt pass, it just kept beeping. Since I was already quite angry I did another typical American thing and pulled my bike over and flipped the bird at the driver. So the guy pulled up next to me and started shouting at me in Dutch. I yelled back "Het spijt me, ik spreekt geen Nederlands, spreekt u Engels?" (i'm sorry, i dont speak Dutch, do you speak English?) And then he shouted at me something about being an ignorant foreigner and not knowing the language who bikes too slow and i'm rude and something about arresting me. I shouted back that I'm a kennismigrant and therefore not required to learn Dutch. There was more arguing about me not being able to speak Dutch and he kept saying something about having me arrested if i didnt calm down. Eventually I just said i'm sorry ive had a bad night you're right. And he drove off. In my drunkenness I thought he might have been the police b/c the van looked like a police van. But he was not. I cried the entire bike ride home. Like hysterical crying. I'm surprised I didnt crash my bike - I was basically biking without seeing anything.
Ive spent the entire day today annoyed at myself and annoyed at the people in this country. Being angry and annoyed is not going to help me to adjust or have a happy life here. But at the same time if I bottle it all up inside then its just going to come bursting out like it did last night. I'm going to have to find some constructive way to deal with this.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
more 365 outtakes
I love my Cannon PowerShot SD700 IS Digital Elph but being a part of Project 365 has awakened the artist in me and I now want, with all my heart and soul, a digital SLR and a tripod. I blame my father for introducing me to SLR's with multiple lenses and tripods as a child. His amateur (and he's good!) photography habit really rubbed off on me. Seeing all of the amazing pictures on 365project.org makes my heart ache for a better camera. I vow to drink one less beer every week until I have one! Too bad I do not think this will happen before I go to Tel Aviv. But it is my new goal!
Oh, and here are some outtakes.
Feb 6, 2010
Found wandering Utrecht City. What are they doing to that poor boy?
Feb 6, 2010
At the Xenos.
Make sure to have all your 2-foot ducks in a row!
I should have gotten something else in the shot for size comparison.
Feb 9, 2010
Dizzy stairs at the Medical School of UMC Utrecht.
Feb 10, 2010
Ice on my office window.
Oh, and here are some outtakes.
Feb 6, 2010
Found wandering Utrecht City. What are they doing to that poor boy?
Feb 6, 2010
At the Xenos.
Make sure to have all your 2-foot ducks in a row!
I should have gotten something else in the shot for size comparison.
Feb 9, 2010
Dizzy stairs at the Medical School of UMC Utrecht.
Feb 10, 2010
Ice on my office window.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
365 out-takes
My desire to have awesome pictures everyday for project 365 is taking up a lot of my time! Especially when i get absorbed in trying to capture something difficult. Was inspired last night by another girl's self-portrait 365 (info here and here) and a little jealous of her superior equipment and skills.
Anyway here are some outtakes from the last couple of days of pictures that didnt make the cut as "official picture of the day."
Anyway here are some outtakes from the last couple of days of pictures that didnt make the cut as "official picture of the day."
Sunday, January 31, 2010
January
I have had a really tough January. Possibly the worst January ever. Not a good way to start a year for sure. First, I had to leave my friends behind in New England, again, knowing that their lives are changing so rapidly I may not "know" them the next time I am able to see them. After I got back to the Netherlands I have been incredibly homesick and depressed. Then I got actually physically sick, twice. First a viral URI (possibly the flu, I thought I was dying), then a week after getting better I was socked with a bacterial sinus infection that moved into my ears. Ugh. I have not had otitis media since I was a kid. It hurts! Meanwhile all of my experiments went wrong. Either b/c i did something wrong or because of equipment that malfunctioned or parameters we were unaware of (such as European mice being colonized in their nose with bacteria of the same type that I work with) - so basically a giant waste of time and money. I've worked every weekend in Jan. I've had to cancel plans with friends new and old thanks to working weekends and being sick. A little hard to cure my loneliness and depression if I cannot even have a social life in the first place.
The icing on this shitty cake was this past friday my mom called me, my Grandma had died that day. This was my dad's mom. My dad's parents live in Texas for the winters, so no one was even down there for it. My parents and aunt were actually on their way down since we knew it was coming. She had a stroke before Christmas. The cause of the stroke was cancer on her spinal cord. She was paralyzed after the stroke. Not a good way to live life when you are that old. I spoke to her on the phone on Christmas (everyone did), so at least I got to tell her Europe was going good and so was my PhD. She was a survivor of breast cancer so it was pretty amazing that she lived this long anyway. - And I'm pretty sure it happened before I was born so that would be pre-1980's which makes her survival even more amazing. I was not as close to her as my mom's parents, but she was still a wonderful Grandma. On a side note, it's been a little over a year since my Uncle Tom died of brain cancer, so this side of the family is not having a good January for sure either. My poor Aunt, first her husband, now her mother. I hope that she is ok. It's very hard to be so far away from family and not be able to be there at times like these.
In order to get past this horrible month I have decided that tomorrow, February 1, is a new new year for me. It will be a fresh start. A better year. This January will be put behind me. From now on, things will get better. To commemorate this fresh start I've joined the 365 Project and I'll start tomorrow (you can find me here). From tomorrow onwards I'll take a picture and post it every day. I'll focus on ex-pat life and try to focus on good things. And I'll work on my photography skills. Once upon a time, I studied visual arts as my minor in high school and college and I took "old school" photography classes. I've even won awards. I really miss that connection to art - taking the picture, developing the film, deciding which pictures deserved to be printed, processing the print - i miss it all. I dont have any fancy camera equipment here, just my "point-and-shoot" digital camera, so I'm going to push that to the limit. See how far a hand-held can take me. And maybe if I have a little extra monies, I'll get myself a decent SLR, we'll see.
Hooray for tomorrow! Now, I have to get to the lab and do some work.
The icing on this shitty cake was this past friday my mom called me, my Grandma had died that day. This was my dad's mom. My dad's parents live in Texas for the winters, so no one was even down there for it. My parents and aunt were actually on their way down since we knew it was coming. She had a stroke before Christmas. The cause of the stroke was cancer on her spinal cord. She was paralyzed after the stroke. Not a good way to live life when you are that old. I spoke to her on the phone on Christmas (everyone did), so at least I got to tell her Europe was going good and so was my PhD. She was a survivor of breast cancer so it was pretty amazing that she lived this long anyway. - And I'm pretty sure it happened before I was born so that would be pre-1980's which makes her survival even more amazing. I was not as close to her as my mom's parents, but she was still a wonderful Grandma. On a side note, it's been a little over a year since my Uncle Tom died of brain cancer, so this side of the family is not having a good January for sure either. My poor Aunt, first her husband, now her mother. I hope that she is ok. It's very hard to be so far away from family and not be able to be there at times like these.
In order to get past this horrible month I have decided that tomorrow, February 1, is a new new year for me. It will be a fresh start. A better year. This January will be put behind me. From now on, things will get better. To commemorate this fresh start I've joined the 365 Project and I'll start tomorrow (you can find me here). From tomorrow onwards I'll take a picture and post it every day. I'll focus on ex-pat life and try to focus on good things. And I'll work on my photography skills. Once upon a time, I studied visual arts as my minor in high school and college and I took "old school" photography classes. I've even won awards. I really miss that connection to art - taking the picture, developing the film, deciding which pictures deserved to be printed, processing the print - i miss it all. I dont have any fancy camera equipment here, just my "point-and-shoot" digital camera, so I'm going to push that to the limit. See how far a hand-held can take me. And maybe if I have a little extra monies, I'll get myself a decent SLR, we'll see.
Hooray for tomorrow! Now, I have to get to the lab and do some work.
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