2011 in review

Well it appears as though I havent posted in this blog since my last years review..... I cant give up this one yearly tradition i have! Does that sentence even make sense? Probably not. English grammar and vocabulary start to shrivel when you are surrounded by non-native speakers. I'd give a link to last years post, but it seems a bit unnecessary.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Planted / cultivated a rooftop vegetable garden. Cat-sat. Nothing crazy exciting I guess.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
My resolutions for 2011 were: keep learning Dutch (be able to hold small conversations); make significant dents in paying off my credit cards (paid one off this year!); better manage my time so I can relax/exercise too.

And i really didnt keep them and that is a shame. PhD sorta gets in the way of everything else.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Ummm no i dont believe so. But there will be soooo many in 2012!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, my Gramma died (mom's mom). We were quite close. She was pretty miserable and wanted to die, but I still would have liked to see her one last time. And I really wanted her to meet Jamie. She died ~3 weeks before we went to the States for Thanksgiving.

5. What countries did you visit?
New countries that I had never been to before: Switzerland.

Countries that I have been to before: England, Belgium, France, USA.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Same as last year: A first author scientific publication.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I'm really bad at remembering actual dates, but I can remember events that happen on specific days. The ones that stand out are the first beautiful day in Interlaken, seeing the sunset at the top of the Eiffel Tower with Jamie, and the death of my Gramma.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Same as last year: Not quitting my PhD - ie surviving 2011.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not sure

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Oh yes... New years day ~2 am slipped and fell on ice walking home from NYE party and tore ankle ligament... a week or so later fell again and tore the ligament on the other side of the same ankle. Not a great way to start the year.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Plants and seeds for our garden. Our couch.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Jamie for being awesome and taking care of me during my hellish PhD. Knitting friends who welcome me back after long absences each time i try to have a social life.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The new manager/realtor of the flat I live in for charging Jamie an arm and a leg for rent just b/c he can (even though I pay much less for the same size room).

14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent, new couch, traveling, beer, yarn.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Seeing my family again after 2 years. Greenfield music festival (Foo Fighters! Apocalyptica! System of a Down! Frank Turner! Volbeat! Social Distortion!). The International Burlesque Circus here in Utrecht.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2011?
Anything by Frank Turner or Volbeat

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? 
b) thinner or fatter? 
c) richer or poorer?
Happier, fatter, tad richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Exercise. Sleep.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Worry about my PhD.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
We spent Christmas and Boxing Day with Jamie's family in Stevenage, England again. AND we spent Thanksgiving with my family in Orland Park, IL!

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?
I stayed in love (:

23. What was your favorite TV program?
New ones this year were: Game of Thrones (oh the LOVE) and Grimm. And we have our TV staples: Doctor Who, True Blood, Big Bang Theory, Walking Dead, How I Met Your Mother, any nature program narrated by David Attenborough.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I sometimes hate my PhD supervisors. This week wasn't a particularly good one, so I'm def not liking them right now.

25. What was the best book you read?
I actually finished some books this summer - i re-read all of Song of Ice and Fire in preparation for Dance With Dragons which was, as expected, so awesome.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Frank Turner and Volbeat

27. What did you want and get?
A new couch.

28. What did you want and not get?
A travel grant to the International Pneumococcal Congress in 2012 in Brazil.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
hmmmmm. I'm terrible at remembering what we saw this year and not other years. Maybe the Muppets?

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 29. I wasnt feeling very social so it was a private dinner with just Jamie. I actually dont even remember it.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Same as last year: A magical understanding of the Dutch language. More contact with the people, friends and family, I left in the States.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Mostly the same as previous years - whatever doesnt make me look pudgy and lots of black with a creeping towards a bit of "Dutch" and "European" fashion.

33. What kept you sane?
My office-mates and my boyfriend.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I read Dan Savage weekly - he's a mini celebrity, right?

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Same as last year: Marriage equality - no reason the States should discriminate. Immigration rights.

36. Who did you miss?
My friends who are not in the same country as me. My Grampa and Gramma.

37. Who was the best new person you met? Why?
Umm i'm not sure I met any new people?

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
Don't put carrot seeds too close together in pots.

39. A Quote or song lyric that sums up your year.

to the east, to east, the road beneath my feet

to the west to the west, but i haven't got there yet

to the north to the north, never to be caught

and to the south to the south, my time is running out

.....

i face the horizon, every where that i go

i face the horizon, the horizon is my home

from The Road by Frank Turner

2010 summary

It's that time again- time for the annual year-wrap-up blog post. One of the Only things I am decently good at doing every year on time. (: Here is the link to last years post, which gives further links to 2008 and 2007. Hard to believe I've been blogging that long.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
Went kayaking. Went to a European music festival (involving multiple days and camping). Hosted/cooked a proper Thanksgiving dinner outside of the USA. Spent Christmas with someone else's family. One thing that was done to me and not by me was I was robbed - my purse was stolen. I'd never before been a direct victim of crime ):

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Okay so I did fairly well on my resolutions for last year. I sadly did not finish learning Dutch. BUT I did find my equilibrium here and regained joy in my life and stopped complaining so much about being single. it especially helped that I'm no longer single though, so I guess I cant count that one.
My resolutions for 2011 are: keep learning Dutch (be able to hold small conversations); make significant dents in paying off my credit cards (paid one off this year!); better manage my time so I can relax/exercise too.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope, no births this year. But there were several weddings.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
I wasnt too close with my uncle Steve, but he did die suddenly. Also, my dad's mom died.

5. What countries did you visit?
Israel and Czech Republic!

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
A first author scientific publication.

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The day Jamie moved in with me is the only one I can think of right now.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Not quitting my PhD - ie surviving 2010.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Again - I finished knitting a couple things I have not yet seamed..... Oh well, maybe next year?

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Again yes. Haven't been sick as much this year as last but I do seem to be very good at injuring myself. Nothing that has required hospital visits though. On Christmas eve I slipped and fell on ice and smacked my face on the ground/ice - my glasses cut me and gave me a black eye - it's still all nasty and ouchy.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
New bed and furniture. Mucha posters. My awesome camera that I owned for just 3 months before it was stolen with my purse. My new tattoo.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My office-mates for tolerating each others idiosyncrasies and for supporting/helping me when I was ready to give up and quit. Jamie for taking care of me when I work 10-12 hour days 60 days in a row.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The owner of the flat I lived in over the summer - refused to give me my deposit back just for the hell of it b/c he can. The person who stole my Purse in Prague. The police lady in Prague that yelled at me for being a stupid tourist and being at fault for my bag being stolen.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Moving. Rent. Getting my ID cards re-issued after the theft (thanks stingy Dutch govt).

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Seeing the Bruins in Prague (which i didnt get to thanks to the purse-snatcher). Jamie coming back from his world tour to visit me.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2010?
Soon by Triggerfinger. Teenage Dream by Katy Perry. Billionaire by Travie McCoy and Bruno Mars.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? 
b) thinner or fatter? 
c) richer or poorer?
Happier, fatter, tad richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Exercise.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Cry over failed experiments.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
For the first time ever I was away from my parents and family. I spent Christmas and Boxing Day with Jamie's family in Stevenage, England.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?
I did, actually. I fell in Love with a guy I'd met during the great Eurocrazy tour of 2008 and he became the most amazing, sweet, awesome boyfriend ever.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
True Blood def was a major new thing for me. Big Bang Theory, How not to live your life, and Walking Dead are all enjoyable to watch too.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Sure, the person(s) that stole my purse!

25. What was the best book you read?
oooh, thats a bit tough considering I started a bunch and finished none. Too much PhD reading going on.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I rediscovered a love of Rammstein after seeing them live; I guess I now take pleasure in listening to Katy Perry (but only b/c Jamie sings the songs to me); and I really like Bruno Mars and I had never heard of him before.

27. What did you want and get?
A significant other. A place to call home (ie: a place to live in Utrecht that's not temporary).

28. What did you want and not get?
Oh hundreds of things went wrong in the lab.....

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
hmmmmm. tough one. Probably Machete

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 28. I had some friends over for beer and cake. it was nice.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A magical understanding of the Dutch language. More contact with the people, freinds and family, I left in the States.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Mostly the same as previous years - whatever doesnt make me look pudgy and lots of black with a creeping towards a bit of "Dutch" and "European" fashion.

33. What kept you sane?
My office-mates and my boyfriend.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I read Dan Savage weekly - he's a mini celebrity, right?

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Same as last year: Marriage equality - no reason the States should discriminate. Immigration rights.

36. Who did you miss?
My friends who are not in the same country as me. My Grampa. Jamie while he was in Canada and USA.

37. Who was the best new person you met? Why?
I havent met very many people this year compared to last year, or at least, Ive met so many new people the past 1.5 years I cant really remember who was in 2009 and 2010....

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
Some people are jerks and criminals, always be vigilant in foreign cities (i should have known that one already but I lapsed).

39. A Quote that sums up your year.
"With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy." Max Ehrmann, 1927.

Desiderata

This poem is on a poster in the WC of my new flat (yes with the erroneous 1692 citation) and it has become my new favortie poem. I felt that it should be shared with everyone (if anyone still reads this blog). It's all good advice but the beauty of poetry is to make the words more meaningful through their flow and construction into a poem. Sometimes I forget how much I love poetry. Makes me miss all my books in storage in Illinois. Anyway, enough of my blabbing!


Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, 1927.

one year in Holland

Well life has been really crazy lately (when is it not?) and I havent had time to do much of anything, or rather, I do the things that seem important and then i'm so tired I leave off the others. So updating my Project 365 page has halted as has updating this blog. I did, however, want to make a quick mention that I've passed over my 1 year anniversary of living in Europe, and I didnt even realize it! So, happy anniversary to me, and to Europe. It's been a crazy year. Lots of good, lots of bad, lots of life. Even though I still cant seem to shake my bad luck in Holland, I'm glad I'm here. No really, I am (: It's been a tough year, but I hope that after I move into my new flat next week that everything will return to "normal." And maybe I'll even get a chance to start blogging again. And most importantly, when I finish moving house so much (5 times in 1 year is enough!) I hope to get back to roaming around Europe. The travel bug has bitten me again and I've got an itch. (Ew that sounds gross)

1 year down, 3 to go!

woe

I get paid this friday (hooray!) and the first thing I'm going to buy (ok, maybe 2nd, after a beer) is a new camera. After having at least one, all my life, I'm going crazy without one! And no, the camera on my mobile phone does not count!

On a separate note, if you want a good cry, read the LJ blog of this Canadian girl who died of CF at 25. I found it via an article on CNN. Sometimes CNN has decent stories. Sometimes. It reminds me of how lucky I am, even with my own problems with my own chronic diseases. Having known (and dated actually) someone with CF, it hit close to home. I do not even want to imagine how I will be if/when he dies. As much as my own life has sucked thanks to migraines and diabetes, I am so grateful that I can run, bike, hike etc (albeit slowly) whenever I want without worrying about drowning in my own mucous. Dear human people: dont ever take your healthy body for granted! (smokers, i'm thinking of you, you bastards) Go out and live life, love life! Find joy. I'm not saying be happy all the time (no one can really), but dont take anything for granted.

Fun picture blogging shall hopefully return after the purchase of a new camera. I suppose this could have been a good opportunity to blog about all the other pictures I've taken and not shared, but I'm lazy. (: And busy living the life of a PhD student.

outtakes 365 project

Here are more pictures not chosen for my official picture of the day. It's been a while since I posted 365 pictures, so there was a lot to choose from.



Feb 22 - I pressed the buttons, but the elevator never went anywhere. Maybe this is a mirage and there isnt an elevator in the bike garage (;
















Feb 26 - Love Potion. Drinking with co-workers. Hmmmm













March 2 - Opening act for 30 Seconds to Mars. Shame we got there at the end; they were really good. See the guy with the bat? He was playing the drum set with the bat! Crazy











March 6: My favorite Saturday treat: Bram Frites met fritesauce! My favorite. mmmmm now I want some. nom nom
















Little chicks in the Hema!













Ran into co-workers / friends Sue and Marieke. Marieke needed books to read for her impromptu holiday in Egypt. SO we popped into a used book store that I didnt know was a used bookstore. I LOVE used bookstores! It even had English books (these are not in English). Now I have to forget I know about this place before I blow all my monies!







Beautiful old books in a foreign language
















March 7 - New lesson : blue skies + green sadly does not = spring

Quiz time

Just got back from Dutch lessons and biking at night wakes me up so I need something to calm me down before I go to bed. So here's a quiz/questionaire stolen from Amanda.

1) What would you call yourself if you could choose your own name? I actually love my name, I just wish my family would call me by my full name (Cassandra) and not the short version (Cassie).

2) What was your worst date (as in going out on a date, not an actual calendar date…unless you have a really bad one to share)? Hmmmmm. Worst date. Man there have been a lot of bad ones and laughable ones. I've had so many first dates I dont even remember them all. Off the top of my head is a guy I met through an internet date site. First, he didnt look like his picture (they never do). He did bring me a rose, but it looked like he swiped it from a bouquet at the grocery store and didnt actually pay for it or anything. We went to a pub that was jam packed and we couldnt get a table for food, so after a couple beers we left. We went down the block to a restaurant for food. The food was good but by then I had waited so long for it that I had a headache and I was nauseous and could barely force it down. While we were waiting for the food and talking he started singing a Tool song in an acapella voice. Really loud. It was embarrassing. Then on the T ride (subway in Boston) home he tried to kiss me. Not a good idea since the T has a habit of stopping abruptly or lurching forward. I think I got off the T at my stop and he didnt. He called and e-mailed a couple times and I tried to tell him it wasnt going to work but he didnt take no for an answer initially. The singing part is the part that stand out. It was a quiet, upscale restaurant. I'm not a fan of being serenaded with acapella versions of metal songs in upscale restaurants....

3) If you had to teach one subject in high school or college, what would it be? Biology for sure!

4) When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? The other day at home alone watching TV. Some commercial reminded me of something and I just couldnt stop laughing. I might not be sane.

5) What is the kindest thing anyone has ever done for you? Hmmm. Again, tough choice. A Lot of people have done kind things for me over the years. My best friend Anne and her husband have driven up to Boston from Connecticut (~100 miles) to help me move on several occasions - in Boston this usually involves carrying everything down 3 flights of twisty stairs then up 3 flights. I always lived on 3rd floors. This past winter a co-worker drove me to the airport when there was so much snow that the trains and the buses werent running and the roads were dangerous. It involved an overnight stay and his boyfriend cooked us a wonderful meal.

6) If money or skill-set was no issue, what would you love to do for a living? I think I'd still be a scientist. Maybe a nature photographer or a ceramicist.

7) What is one thing as an adult/parent/spouse you do that you swore you would never do? Well I'm not a spouse or a parent and I cant really think of anything that I do as an adult that I'd swore i'd never do as a child. I think this question applies more to parents.

8) If you could go back to one particular time in your life (not to live, not to change anything, just to visit) when would it be? When I was a toddler and learning to read. Apparently I taught myself to read (with Mom's help) at the age of 3 and I was quite the bright and inquisitive child. I've never lost my curiosity, but I'd love to see what I was like when I discovered (quite possibly) the most important skill of my entire life. And my most cherished.

9) If your walls could talk, what would they say about you (good & bad)? They would say that I'm sad and depressed and lonely and I need to clean my apartment more often and get out more often. They would also say I waste far too much time on the internet. Oh and they might have a good laugh about how often I dance in my underwear or naked to music.

10) If you could fix or put an end to one problem in the world what would it be? I agree with Amanda on this one: Wastefulness. Lets not ruin our beautiful planet.

Expat life

Posting more pictures that didnt make it onto the official 365 Project as my picture of the day. Might actually make this a weekly event. It's keeping me more active in blogging than ever before. So if I have the time, I'll try every Sunday.


Not entirely sure when I took this picture on my mobile phone, but I just learned how to download picts from my mobile onto my computer this week. They are glass plate spreaders I made by melting glass in a bunsen burner flame. I'd never done this before so they are a bit uneven. Ah well, it was fun.









Feb 14: Sunday morning coffee with my new china set from the Hema. I bought this with my giftcard from the University as my Christmas present to myself. Totally fell in love with this pattern. Wish I could afford the entire set of dishes.










Sepia version













An egg boiling in water. Thought the ripples in the water were cool.












Feb 15: Bunnies at night with Lazer Eyes. They always come out at night! There are bunches of them living near the bushes around the infection unit.











Feb 18: Lichen on the Vet School. Another shot taken with my mobile phone.











Feb 21: Fog in the morning. Woke up to a world hiding in fog.












Also, a note on trying to focus on the positive aspects of being an expat: it's not easy when the citizens of the country you live in dislike immigrants. The overt racism and poor treatment of non-Dutch people really really bothers me. I wish I could let it go or let it roll off my back and not bother me, but I cant. Last night I was with a couple other expats and we waited in line to get into this restaurant/bar that has dancing at night in Utrecht (called Havana Club - the food is not Cuban but they try) and we were denied admission b/c none of us were Dutch. I'm pretty sure this is illegal. I may have gotten all angry-obnoxious-drunk american and yelled some not nice things at the bouncers.... I shouldnt have done that but I was so angry. We were dressed properly and we were a bunch of good looking people and this is Utrecht! Not effing New York city or LA. This was not an issue of us not fitting in with the beautiful people. This was us being blatantly discriminated against b/c only one of us spoke Dutch (not me). I've heard stories of Moroccan or African or people looking like they are Moroccan or African getting rejected from clubs, but I never heard of people being rejected just for being foreigners. And I'm a legal effing resident. I pay their high taxes just like everyone else. I was quite upset over this so I ended up just going home.
On my bike ride home a vehicle driving behind me started beeping and the driver yelling at me so I waved at it to pass. It didnt pass, it just kept beeping. Since I was already quite angry I did another typical American thing and pulled my bike over and flipped the bird at the driver. So the guy pulled up next to me and started shouting at me in Dutch. I yelled back "Het spijt me, ik spreekt geen Nederlands, spreekt u Engels?" (i'm sorry, i dont speak Dutch, do you speak English?) And then he shouted at me something about being an ignorant foreigner and not knowing the language who bikes too slow and i'm rude and something about arresting me. I shouted back that I'm a kennismigrant and therefore not required to learn Dutch. There was more arguing about me not being able to speak Dutch and he kept saying something about having me arrested if i didnt calm down. Eventually I just said i'm sorry ive had a bad night you're right. And he drove off. In my drunkenness I thought he might have been the police b/c the van looked like a police van. But he was not. I cried the entire bike ride home. Like hysterical crying. I'm surprised I didnt crash my bike - I was basically biking without seeing anything.

Ive spent the entire day today annoyed at myself and annoyed at the people in this country. Being angry and annoyed is not going to help me to adjust or have a happy life here. But at the same time if I bottle it all up inside then its just going to come bursting out like it did last night. I'm going to have to find some constructive way to deal with this.